This little one is turning 4 in a few days, and I’m having a hard time believing it.
Four seems so much older than three. Maybe it’s because four marks the beginning of preschool and thoughts of kindergarten. Or maybe it’s because four marks the ending of babies and toddlerhood. I’m not sure – all I know is this day has suddenly appeared and I’m not sure I’m ready for it.
It seems like just yesterday Peter and I were flying to India in anticipation of meeting our baby girl. I still remember the fear I felt, the heartache I witnessed.
Will she love us?
Will she bond with us?
Will she be okay with us?
And today I know the answer to all those questions is yes. Praise Jesus.
A couple weeks ago, we were riding in the car and Jillienne asked me, “Mom, when I was a baby, did you rock me?”
She had recently seen a newborn at church and thoughts of babies were floating in her head. It was an innocent-enough question. But it nearly broke me in two.
Of course I rocked her for hours and hours in India and after we brought her home. But by then she wasn’t really a baby. She was a toddler.
I have no idea who rocked her as an infant. I’m trusting she was loved and cared for. I’m trusting the nuns who worked in her orphanage were loving toward her and the other children. I think it’s true but I don’t really know.
With tears in my eyes, I assured Jillienne that yes, I had rocked her and sang to her every nap time and every night, and my answer seemed to satisfy her. For now.
I know there will be many more questions, though, in the years to come. Yet all we can do is take it one week, one day, one question at a time.
My word for 2022 is Celebrate. So this week, we will put the questions aside and celebrate our little Indian princess. Four is a big deal and we plan to make it memorable for her.
Thank you, Jesus, for putting this precious child in our lives. She is a blessing indeed!