It was a Saturday morning. We were spending a few hours at the soccer field. Like we had every Saturday for weeks. Vivi had the first game of the morning and Jonah’s was after hers. As I sat on the sidelines with Jilli and Jonah, trying to cheer Vivi on, I could hear a nagging whine coming from Jonah’s chair.
I sat up to ask him what was wrong.
“I’m so bored!” he whined. “I need something to entertain me!”
“Jonah, Vivi’s soccer game is your entertainment right now. Let’s cheer her on,” I answered.
“This is not my kind of entertainment. You know that! I need something to entertain me,” he continued to complain.
I attempted to ignore him for several minutes, watching our girls’ team, cheering them up and down the soccer fields.
But. He. Just. Wouldn’t. Stop.
And this is the problem with a child who has autism. Even one who is high-functioning.
They. Just. Can’t. Stop.
Once they become obsessed with something, they perseverate on it and they just can’t (or won’t) stop.
Until you have a child with autism and ADHD, you have no idea how difficult some days can be. And you never know when a trigger will occur.
And it’s often difficult to know exactly how to handle each situation.
Our sweet Jonah has come so far, yet I often forget that when we’re in the middle of a mini-crisis. It’s much easier to see the difficult behavior instead of reminding myself that things have actually been worse. Seriously worse.
Why do we forget so easily?
I think it’s the same with our relationship with the Lord. We get in a rut, or maybe we’re currently angry with Him because things aren’t going as we had hoped. This year, in particular, has thrown us all for a loop and if we aren’t careful, we can start blaming God. When, in fact, He actually knows what’s happening and is in control of the situation.
But it’s easy to think God’s not listening to us. That’s why it’s so important to look back at His past faithfulness as a reminder that He loves us and wants the very best for us.
This past week I was in the middle of writing a devotion for a publication, and I was reminded of my own words from several years ago.
The year before Jonah was diagnosed, I participated in a scripture memory challenge where I had to memorize two scriptures every month. The Holy Spirit led me to so many of these scriptures that I probably would not have chosen on my own. Here is one of them:
“I will remember the deeds of The Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.”
Psalm 77:11-12
Even before we knew that Jonah had autism, God knew. He knew about Jonah’s diagnosis and He knew that I would need reassurance. He knew that I would need to be reminded of how He had been faithful to me in the past. He knew I would need encouragement to fight for Jonah. He knew that I would need to be reminded that God fights for me. That He is always with me. He knew I would need to remember that God is good. He led me to certain scriptures because He knew I would need them.
Even before I knew I would need them, He knew.
I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating. God has made each of us unique for a specific purpose. These are unprecedented times we are living in, yet God put us on this earth at this particular moment in time for a reason. As Sally Clarkson once said:
“I realized that God wants my son to be different. To be impulsive. He wired my son that way so that when God tells him to go, he will go.”
I know that Jonah is wired differently than I am. Honestly, we’re all different, aren’t we? Yet we are all made in the image of Christ.
So when I get frustrated with one child’s impulsivity, or another’s emotional withdrawal, or another’s forceful and controlling nature (yes we have a lot of big personalities over here), I will remember that God made them this way for a purpose. And as a parent, we need to pray and guide them to use those qualities for good.
What difficulties are you experiencing right now as a parent? Take your frustrations to the Lord. He holds you in His hand and wants to guide you as you mold your children into who they’re meant to be.