Worship in the Unknown

I sat in my favorite chair, pondering some changes that were occurring. Tears pooled in my eyes, clouding my vision and threatening to overflow as I poured my heart out in my journal.

I had questions.

Why, Lord?

What will happen next?

You see, our worship leader, my friend, had recently taken a position at another church. My feelings may seem melodramatic, but if you know me, you know I tend to live in my feelings.

Although his leaving was a bit of a shock, I shouldn’t have been surprised. I had dreamed one night that he would be leaving and shortly afterward, he told me he felt he might be called to another church. I realized the Lord had been preparing my heart even before I knew of his departure. God, in His infinite wisdom, understood I would need some time to process this with Him.

So our campus of church is in a season of change. And what I know about change is this:  It can be difficult. But it can also be good.

I have been praying for weeks that the Lord would provide a new worship leader for our congregation. Well, to be honest, I’ve also been whining to God, asking Him to bring us the familiar. Yet in His kindness, He has spoken over and over to me in my daily Bible reading, in a book I picked up, in my Bible study, in a podcast, a similar theme:

“You want me to bring back what you already know, what you’re comfortable with. But that’s not what I do. You can’t grow in comfort. My people can only grow as I stretch them. I don’t want to resurrect the familiar. I want to make all things new. And I am making something new with this.”

Do I want something new? If I’m being truthful, the answer is often no. And I think it’s often “no” for all of us because we generally want what is familiar. Familiarity breeds comfort and we all want to be comfortable.

But I also believe that the Lord has a good plan for our church.

During this transition phase, our leadership has been bringing in potential worship leaders each Sunday. It’s weird and wonderful and uncomfortable and Spirit-filled.

It’s all the things.

That first Sunday, standing on stage with a different group of people, I was a hot mess, unable to keep my emotions in check. But in His grace, God gently reminds my heart that it’s not about me. I have been able to hear Jesus whispering, “I am here. And that’s all that matters.”

Being led by different leaders has truly (and surprisingly) been a worshipful experience. They have been gracious to include me and Brienne and others from our congregation to be part of the worship team. But most importantly, these leaders take us to the throne of Jesus each and every week.

This has definitely been an uncomfortable journey as Jesus is molding me into who He wants me to be. Any time we walk forward into unfamiliar territory, there is potential for fear.

But I am learning to embrace this unfamiliarity. And in this embrace, I can honestly say I am listening to the Holy Spirit in ways I haven’t in a long time.

I hope and pray our congregation is also feeling the Holy Spirit in this season of transition and unfamiliarity.

I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know who will step in and lead us on a permanent basis. I don’t have any answers. And it’s killing me.

The only thing I know is that God has a plan. And His plans are always better than mine. Always.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.

So today, I will worship my God in this unknown season because He is in control. And He makes all things new.