I Need a Rescuer

I’m having trouble getting my thoughts together to write this blog. I can’t seem to grasp a message because my words keep flying away from me.

So many things are going through my head but I just can’t hold onto anything long enough to process it. Do you ever feel that way?

Tonight I’m sitting in my favorite chair feeling tired and frustrated. I’m a little lonely and even jaded. I put headphones in my ears so I can listen to my favorite worship leader, tears streaming down my face.

Honestly, I’m sitting in some stuff with the Lord, asking Him some hard questions.

Nothing terrible has happened – just the typical life stuff. But sometimes adulting can be overwhelming, can’t it?

Don’t get me wrong – I love my life. I have a good job, beautiful children, a husband who loves me, great friends.

But even our blessings require responsibilities from us. Even the things we love, the gifts God has bestowed on us to use for His kingdom, even those things can render us exhausted and on the verge of a mini-meltdown.

In her book Daring to Hope, Katie Davis Majors writes a lot about her relationship with Jesus as she disciples the daughters she adopted out of trauma situations. She sums up my feelings best while describing a tantrum thrown by one of her children:

“I quietly beg Him to fill in the blanks. Really, we are all crying out for the exact same thing: a true and consistent love that does not waver, a Savior who comes and binds up our wounds. Really, her heart is crying out for the exact thing I need myself, only her needs present on the surface, and mine are buried beneath a veil of performance, perfectionism, and pride. Hers comes out messy and honest and desperate, and mine come out polished and deceiving and casual as if I, too, am not craving a great rescue. I have so much to learn.”

I, like Katie, have so much to learn.

I, too, tend to bury my hurts underneath pride and performance, wondering what others will think if I let it all hang out.

I, too, tend to slap a smile on my face and continue trucking along, laughing off my anxiety when deep inside I want desperately for someone to see my fears and rescue me from them.

I, too, tend to look at my own children as they struggle and beg Jesus to fill in the blanks. Because I was never meant to rescue them. But I am meant to point them to the Rescuer.

Are you in need of rescuing today? Is life overwhelming? Have you been hurt or disappointed?

Psalm 91:14-15 (ESV) says this:

“Because he holds fast to me in love,” says the Lord, “I will deliver him;
    I will protect him, because he knows my name.
     When he calls to me, I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will rescue him and honor him.”

Sometimes, all we can do is hold fast to Jesus and trust that He will rescue us from our messiness. We must call out to Him and trust that He will answer us.

Father, you know our thoughts even before we do. You understand our deepest hurts and shame, our fears and frustrations. Today, I give these to You. I trust that You will hear me and rescue me. That you will love me unwaveringly even when my life is messy and ugly. Thank you for sending Jesus, the Great Rescuer, for all of us. Amen.