When You Feel UnSeen

Do you ever feel unseen? Like nobody really truly sees you?

So often I am guilty of going through the motions of polite conversation.

“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“Doing well. See you later.”

It’s not that I want to be rude. It’s just that life is busy and we often don’t stop and take the time to truly listen to how others are doing. I’m sure we are all guilty at times of not truly seeing the person standing right in front of us.

Perhaps, though, you are the person standing there, wanting someone to notice you. Maybe you’ve been going through a difficult time and you just want someone to ask about it and offer a listening ear.

Honest confession here – I’ve just come out of a season like this.

Our family has had a lot of changes this past year.

• Peter’s retirement from a 20 year career in the military
• A move to a different state
• Peter going back school to get his Doctorate in Physical Therapy
• My going back to work full time after being a stay-at-home mom for 8 years
• Brienne transitioning to high school
• Jonah going to a new school for 1^stgrade
• Vivienne entering kindergarten
• Getting involved in a new church

And to top it all off, we are also:

• In the process of building a house
• In the process of adopting a child from India

Most of the items on the lists above are actually good things. Sacred things. Things God has called us into. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get a little overwhelming at times.

This past fall, when our whole world sort of flipped upside down, our family struggled. I’m not going to lie – it was hard. And I realize it seems sort of dumb to talk about just how hard it was because nothing devastatingly bad happened – it was just part of life. But we went through huge adjustments trying to figure out how to live this new normal.

Peter and I fought over expectations and responsibilities.

The children fought and cried because they couldn’t understand why mommy had to leave the house and go to work.

I cried on the way to work most mornings because I just didn’t understand how this new normal was going to work for us.

I felt enormous guilt over not being able to put my children on the bus or attend their school functions.

Exhaustion threatened to overtake me and tempers flared more often than I care to admit.

Quite frankly, I felt sorry for myself.

And I wanted everybody else to feel sorry for me too.

I wanted someone to truly see how I was feeling, wrap their arms around me, and tell me it would be fine. More than fine, even. That it would be great!

But no one really did that for me.

Because no one could truly understand how I was feeling on the inside.

However, through this upside-down year, I was reminded of something. God was there with us every step of the way. And He wanted me to go to Him with my stresses and disappointments. My guilt and sadness.

Instead of venting to anyone who would listen, the Lord wanted me to stay in the quiet with Him. He soothed me with little heart whispers, ensuring me that I was seen by Him.

And honestly, that’s all that matters. Knowing my Heavenly Father sees me even when I feel unseen.

I’m grateful that God sees me. All of me. My anxiety and my fears. My anger and concerns. My exhaustion and my frustrations.

And He sees you too, friend.

You can take all your feelings before Him, lay them at His feet, and let Him take care of you. Psalm 55:22 promises that if we cast our burden on the Lord, He will sustain us. I love that promise.

Our “Year of Upside Down” is coming to a close. And our family not only survived, but we are thriving, knowing that the Lord has walked beside us every step of the way. He has guided us toward new paths, provided finances when we wondered how we would fund our adoption, lifted our weary heads after late night study sessions, and carried us when things became too much.

He is a good God, a God who sees, a God who loves. I’m thankful He calls me His child.