Consume Me

It had been an exhausting twelve hour day of work and faculty meetings. The stress from my job was beginning to wear on me and all I wanted was to get home, put on my pajamas, and eat dinner with my family.

But as I walked through the door to my home, which I had hoped would be a sanctuary of sorts for my weary body and soul, I was instead bombarded by requests and demands, arguments between the little people in my house.

It was too much for my exhausted mind to process.

So I yelled.

I actually yelled at my kids to shut up.

As soon as the words came out of my mouth, my heart broke. This was not the response they needed because they, too, were stressed and fearful. Life had changed so much for them over the past few months and what they really desired was my presence and love.

But this is what I know about myself – In times when I’m super stressed, I lose control. Anybody else? Please, somebody?

I don’t like this part of my personality and I try hard to keep it suppressed. But let’s be real for a sec – life can get stressful and kids can make you crazy.

Here’s the thing. Lately I’ve felt conviction about not instilling God’s word and a love for Him into my kids. I mean, I think we as a family go through seasons where we are really good and intentional in this pursuit and then we hit seasons where we are so busy pursuing other things that we forget to show our children how to pursue Jesus.

And that’s when my kids become the teachers.

Last week after bedtime, I noticed Jonah’s light was still on. It was really late so I headed upstairs to fuss at him about playing too much instead of being asleep. I opened his door and guess what I discovered?  Sweet little Jonah is laying on his stomach, feet kicking in the air, reading the Bible. When I questioned him about it, his little voice pricked my heart.

“Mom, I’m reading the Bible. It makes God happy when I read the Bible.”

Yes, yes it does, sweet boy.

Sigh…

Earlier in the school year, Brienne was going through a difficult season trying to find new friends. High school is hard enough, but moving before your freshman year is enough to cause anxiety in the calmest person.

However, even in the midst of her fears and sadness, I would find her up early in the morning before school, doing her Bible study. Reading God’s Word. Seeking after Jesus.

Watching her taught me about dependency on Christ even in the difficult times.

Brooke McGothlin, founder of the MOB Society and author of Gospel Centered Mom, says this about our role as parents:

“Your kids need a mom and a dad who are pursuing Jesus. They don’t need moms and dads who are consumed with getting them into all the right programs and activities. They need moms and dads who are consumed with Jesus.”

Friend, what are you consumed with today?

Work?

Finances?

Homeschooling?

Worries?

Your children?

 

Let’s choose Jesus. Let’s seek after Him and allow Him to consume us.

Consume my thoughts and desires, Lord. Consume my life. I want to pursue You, Jesus. Consume me today.